This was also published on The Mighty: What Recovery from OCD Means to Me
Recovery is a complicated, individualized word. When I say I am in recovery from OCD, what does that mean? Does it mean I never have an intrusive thought or that I never carry out a compulsion?
For some fortunate individuals, that may be the case. But for the vast majority of people I’ve talked to in recovery from OCD, it is more nuanced. For me, recovery from OCD means I experience less symptoms, and I have the tools to deal with the occasional symptoms I do experience. Let’s break that down.
When I say I experience less symptoms I mean that simply as a result of doing hundreds of exposures (as part of exposure and response prevention therapy, or ERP), intrusive thoughts come less often. I have less urges to do a compulsion, and the urges are less intense. I spend less time thinking these obsessive thoughts and less time ritualizing. Practicing not compulsing and not trying to push intrusive thoughts away, but just letting them be, truly does decrease their frequency.
Perhaps more importantly, when I say I have the tools to do with the occasional symptoms I mean I am experienced enough in exposure and response prevention therapy that when OCD does throw an intrusive thought or urge to ritualize my way, I can choose to not react to it, not ritualize, and instead I’ll do an impromptu exposure. I can sit with the anxiety while it comes down on its own, and I can embrace the uncertainty.
Does this mean I never slip up and ritualize? Surely not; I am human and still succumb to the anxiety occasionally. But it means that I then follow up the accidental compulsion with an exposure. I recognize that I ritualized, I remember what it was like when my OCD was bad, and I use that motivate me to move in the opposite direction and expose instead. It’s almost like undoing the compulsion, and for the past year or so, it has worked well to maintain a very low level of OCD symptoms.
Recovery from OCD, whatever that means to you, is possible!
Morgan
Other blog posts for OCD Awareness Week 2017:
My OCD Voice 
Thanks for the positive message! I’ve been finding reading your post very helpful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad to hear it!
LikeLike
Great post. I have OCD as well, it never truly leaves me but the severity changes. It has worsened again the past few weeks, so it was nice to come across this post just now. Thanks for sharing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad to hear the post was helpful! The good thing is if we’ve had periods when it was better, we can remember that it can get better again. Best wishes!
LikeLiked by 1 person
[…] on deleting. I’m in recovery from OCD, but that doesn’t mean I never do the occasional ritual (What Recovery from OCD Means to Me). The difference is I keep working on it, and the exposures cause me far less anxiety […]
LikeLiked by 1 person
[…] does recovery from OCD mean then? I’ve written before that, for me, I define it as still having intrusive thoughts, but having […]
LikeLike
[…] What Recovery from OCD Means to Me […]
LikeLike
[…] written a great deal about being in recovery from OCD and what recovery means to me. Recovery doesn’t mean I never have an intrusive thought or I never do a compulsion. Recovery […]
LikeLike
[…] and never give into OCD. But I think it’s so important to continue speaking out about what recovery truly means. It does not mean complete freedom from OCD and anxiety. It does not mean doing the exposure every […]
LikeLike