Morgan Rondinelli (My OCD Voice)

Instead of a tattoo

I’ve had a tattoo idea picked out for years, ever since I really got involved in mental health advocacy and especially since I got farther into recovery. It would be a semicolon with butterfly wings. I’d work out the details with the tattoo artist, but I have plenty of pictures saved for inspiration. The semicolon is a popular mental health symbol to show living with and/or overcoming suicidal ideation. It’s when a sentence could’ve been stopped, but the writer chose to go on.

Moreover, my personal mantra is: with brave wings, she flew. I chose to be brave every week in therapy. I chose to be brave and go on meds. I chose to be brave and embrace life, taking suicide off the table as an option. Those brave acts contributed to my recovery journey. Also, I just really like insects and entomology.

The reason I haven’t gotten a tattoo after all these years of thinking about it and designing it is because I’m less brave on the putting something on my skin forever front. It’s just so permanent. Obviously, that’s the point of a tattoo, but I haven’t been able to override that fear yet to go through with actually getting the tattoo.

Well, today I came up with a pretty good alternative. I impulsively stopped at a garage sale near where I live after seeing a sign on the side of the road. It had mostly antiques. I looked at the jewelry and found this butterfly ring. I don’t believe everything happens for a reason, but sometimes an item “speaks to you,” and you have to take it home. Sometimes it just happens to be your size.

I actually pretty rarely wear jewelry now, but I want to get back into the habit again. This ring is pretty and also pretty perfect. I love the shape of the butterfly, and it’s even turquoise, OCD awareness color. All of my mental health advocacy, such as the color scheme for files and events on my computer, is themed this color. Not to mention, it was only $3, and I can take it off at the end of the day. It’s a win-win!

I love having a less permanent reminder of where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. If I continue with brave wings, who knows how far I will fly.

Morgan

7 comments

  1. Hi! I made the opposite choice, and made my spirit animal permanent. My phoenix reminds me that with every fall, I will rise again stronger than before. Thanks for providing a perspective I had not thought of before.
    Wish you the best,
    Lauren

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    • I think you made a wise decision, but I prefer more subtle reminders myself. What if it was your destiny to stop at that garage sale and find that symbolic ring? Maybe it was your destiny, though maybe it wasn’t. I guess you will never know for sure either way….

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  3. I’m a bit disturbed by the way you found going without meds “brave”. For some of us the decision TO take meds is brave. The implication in your phrasing is that taking meds is a cowards choice. Please be careful about how you word things.

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